To be honest, I am really getting tired of people. Why do we have to act like we're alright when we ain't? Is this the sole purpose of this blog? To throw and deposit all the unhappy things, so that I can be alright on the surface? Why is being happy the norm? Isn't it okay not to be okay too, at times?
People change. I do get that and I understand why. Cause I do change too. But I can't stand people who tells me that, this is who they truly are, when I know they're not. It's like... you think you know someone, but at the end of the day, the person feels so far away.
I can't believe that people change. They start to say vulgarities at each and every interval, and their justification is that, I am sometimes quite vulgar too. But nooo. I didn't ever hear any vulgarities from them before. Now it's like, every important moment, there's almost vulgarities to be heard.
I thought people understood me. Apparently, they ain't. They always waiting for me, to understand them. I put myself in their position. But whenever they say something or do something, it doesn't seem like they are putting themselves in my position. You know how hard it is, trying to always think about other people's feelings and you're always the one getting so tired?
Why can't I have my opinion on things? If I disagree, does that mean I am agitated? Hey. It's through email. You can't read my feelings that way. I am just having my own viewpoint on how things should be done. And I ask for other people's opinions too. I listen. Apparently, I am not so important.
I help other people. I tell them to be strong. I tell them to smile. I listen to their misery and try to get them out of it. Can anyone hear mine? No. I don't need anyone to. I just don't need anyone to add on to it. All these thoughts are exploding inside my head. I am tired. MCs can't get enough rest, no matter how many days I have been given.
Enough. People change. And I gotta admit, it's really scary. I don't know anyone anymore. I don't want to be around people anymore. I feel really screwed up. I feel really lost. Half of the time, I am angry because of whatever happened. The other half of the time, I am tired.
I am a human. Not a Saint. I have my own viewpoints on things and on people. Why should I silence myself in order to accept your viewpoints? Yes. I may have extreme viewpoints on people, but that doesn't mean it's not true. You got your break. But that doesn't mean I've got mine. Now, I can't even be honest with anyone anymore. So, you keep your viewpoints and I'll keep mine. I don't care if I am screwing up the whole world to keep them, I just want to be me. If I am me, I know I'll be strong.
